Friday, May 21, 2010

Dating Tips: 8 Secrets to Finding Love

We've all been told that love is blind, that it is illogical, that it is divine, and above all else, that it isn't exactly rocket science.
Let's delve into that last question first. It turns out that, based on several studies conducted by mathematicians over the years, one of the best ways of landing a partner who falls within the top 10% to 25% of the dating population is to do as follows: start with a pool of 100 singles, reject the first 10 prospects that come your way, and then pick the first one who is better than the previous 10. To improve your chances of a good outcome, go for a dozen instead of 10. But don't go too high above that. Doing so will actually do more damage than good.
1. Give up the idea of "the one." Such a mindset makes daters more critical of who they encounter, and coupled people more likely to question the people they choose.
2. Stop overanalyzing, all you women in particular. Some things can't be verbalized or logically listed out. And attempting to do so might actually work against the real feelings you're experiencing for someone.
3. Ladies: Wait longer for physical intimacy. As Dr. Trees says: "Double down. In other words, if you are typically physically intimate on the third date, wait until the sixth." Doing so will give men the impression that your goods (eggs, in the evolutionary sense) are worth more because they can't be gotten so easily.
4. Tap into undervalued areas of the market. For example, 90% of women in online environments prefer to date men who are at least six feet tall, even if their shorter counterparts make significantly more money. Needless to say, women who are willing to take a chance on less statuesque men have a greater potential of hitting the jackpot.
5. Consider what makes you marketable, what doesn't, and ways you can improve your value. When it comes to how women look, market value is high for an attractive body, regardless of how bad the face is. Unfortunately, the same doesn't apply to situations where the traits are switched. There are, however, unexpected ways women can improve their marketability. For example, if you're worried about your weight but don't want to diet, Dr. Trees suggests that you wear a spicy floral perfume fragrance. "In one study, women who wore a perfume with that profile were judged on average to be 12 pounds lighter. No other scent had the same effect."
6. That being said, don't obsess about your looks. Studies find that how you act is more important than what you look like. So act like you're interested.
7. Treat the people you date as though they already have the qualities you seek. As Dr. Trees's says: "Studies have shown that people try to live up to the good opinion their partners have of them."
8. Women: Make the first move, but not really. When in public settings with plenty of eligible guys around, give lots of eye contact to the one you like, and don't forget to smile. If you only do the eye contact, the man you are looking at will approach you 20% of the time. If you do both, the rate will go up to 60%.

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